When I heard that Javan Belcher, the Kansas City Chiefs linebacker, had shot Kasandra Perkins, the mother of his three month old daughter, nine times in front of his own mother, then took his life in front of the Chief's coaching staff, the first thing I felt was an overwhelming sadness. I often hear tragic sports stories but this one really confused me. I thought about how maybe this catastrophe was the result of numerous concussions affecting the frontal lobe of Javan's brain and altering his mood and judgement. I wondered about cultural and racial issues that contributed to this tragedy. I thought maybe this was just two explosive people who were unfortunately in the limelight. I thought about gun violence and legislation to restrict gun sales and how divided our country is even after tragedies such at this one. I thought about the shootings this summer in Aurora Colorado that injured 58 and killed 12, recalled the shooting of Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, and of course the countless shootings in our country that we hear about so often that just seem to blend together. I thought about this all day Saturday and into Sunday and really could not make heads or tails of my emotions about this subject. I was so frustrated by the media's concern about whether the Chiefs would play on Sunday and why they should or should not. There was discussion about how it would disrupt the season and the player's preparation. Sports casters recalled how games were played after Kennedy was assassinated and after 9/11, but no one mentioned that this game should not have been played out of respect for Kasandra Perkins.
On Sunday night I saw this press conference with the Chief's quarterback Brady Quinn whose greatest NFL moment was probably his comments following this tragedy. When Quinn was finished, I went right to my laptop and watched the comments two or three more times. He was so right on. We are all incredibly distracted by our technology. We could be surrounded by friends and family in the most beautiful place in the world, doing our favorite thing in the world and many of us would want to check our email, twitter, Facebook, or post an Instagram. As a result, we probably miss little cues in one another that may have come naturally before. I have tried to make a conscious effort and will make even more of one now, to put down my phone when I can, stop checking my email four times per hour, and stop posting my life as it happens. I want to be more connected to the people around me and take time out from technology to tune in to my surroundings and the feelings of others.As our world of technology has accelerated we have become a distracted society. We ask as a formality how people are doing, but do not listen to the answer, nor do we feel entitled to say how we really feel when we are casually asked how we are doing. Quinn's palpable guilt that he did not pick up on his teammate's mental suffering and homicidal potential is something I never want to feel, and I am in just as much danger as Quinn was of missing these cues in the people around me because I am rarely truly tuned into the present.
When I get home from work, I'm going to try and put my phone in the drawer and not look at it until bedtime. This weekend, when I'm watching my son play soccer or my daughter at the park I will leave my phone in the car. I think that we can all learn something from Brady Quinn's eloquent comments if we all just slow down and take time to really smell the flowers of our daily lives.
